imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
