It's like God shit irony all over that family
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I understand Curling. That high.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
