The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize