Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
