dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
