She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
