I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We smell like vodka and hangover
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