i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
