Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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