I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
