haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
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So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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