Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
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Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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