Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
