FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
