You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
