You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
