Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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