Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize