worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
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Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
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I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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