Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
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