I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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