wakey wakey hands off snakey
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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