god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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