fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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