Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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