The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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