If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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