Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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