In the future we'll all be gay
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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