Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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