So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He passed out mid-signature
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
