Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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