the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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