the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
