so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
