FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize