Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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