I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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