well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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