Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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