i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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