What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize