Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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