All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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