Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
