I just pynch a tree in the face
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
