Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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