my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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