I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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