ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
