Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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