I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
