I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
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I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
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i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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