Define "chronic" masturbator.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
