I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
