I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
